The Creatively Frustrated

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. For Episode 6 click here . Enjoy!) Episode 7 Maheen is in the parking lot of the hospital. She takes out the keys from her purse and collapses on the driver’s seat. She leans her head against the steering wheel and breaks down. She cries and sobs, her shoulders shake violently with grief. She wipes her tears with the back of her hands and starts the car. Images are flashing through her mind, Sadiq holding her hand against his cheek, Sadiq spinning a bra in his hand, drunk; Sadiq beating her. She accelerates her car out of the hospital and sees an addict by the road side. She stares at him. Suddenly it occurs to her, her eyes widen in realization. She remembers the welcome party that her cousin Eemaan gave her in America. Her memories play in front of her eyes like a movie; the skinny guy coughing and then administering the morphine and th...

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. For Episode 5 click here . Enjoy!) Episode 6 Maheen is walking in the hospital. She looks at her watch. She is five minutes late. She approaches the receptionist who tells her to wait. Maheen sits on a sofa. She picks up a magazine about motherhood and flips through it. “Mrs. Maheen Sadiq?” A nurse announces her name. Maheen stands up and follows the nurse into the doctor’s room. “Hello Maheen! How are you feeling?” Dr. Mehnaz, the doctor dealing with her pregnancy, asks. The nurse leaves closing the door behind her. Maheen sits on the chair opposite the doctor. “I’m feeling good.” “Is anyone here with you?” “No. I came alone.” “Maheen… I’m afraid I have very bad news. It would have been better if someone from your family was here.” Maheen stares at the doctor for a few seconds. “I can handle it Dr. Mehnaz. Tell me what’s wrong.” “Do you ...

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. For Episode 4 click here . Enjoy!) Episode 5 Two years have passed. Maheen is sitting in front of the mirror in the master bedroom. She is genuinely happy about something. A smile lingers on her face. She dabs perfume on both her wrists and looks at the wall clock. It is 8 ‘o’ clock. She walks in the kitchen, where the cook is busy preparing food. “Sadiq will be here any moment. Is the food ready?” Maheen asks. “Yes ma’am sahib. I have taken great care in cooking the food today. After all, it is sahibs and your first wedding anniversary.” The cook replies confidently. Maheen goes back into her room and looks out the window. She is lost in thought. Her memories of the past two years are not pleasant ones. She remembers how she fought with her parents when they had forbidden her to marry Sadiq, the images flash through her head. According ...

That chilly air enveloped her, Caressing as lips on skin, From between the tendrils it flowed And whispered in the deep confines. Strolling towards that frozen sun, The water licked her toes, Orange hues and shades of blue Beckoned, she wanted more. Thigh high the liquid pierced her skin, Her clothes a transparent halo, Fading warmth and numbness grew, Yet she strolled deeper still. With finger tips she teased the water As emerging ripples echoed The tiny tides gave birth to suns On that eerie icy lake. Breast deep, her breath came shallow, She knew not how to swim Yet eyes fixated on that fiery globe Burned to cure what has been wasted. Transfixed, she sighed, It was when the sun gave day to night, In the lake where dawn was a fiction, Where her truth softly wept. Her mouth, gasping, pale and wet, The water intruded her throat, It was just her and the half dome of light, Let the sun shine a light on her. (Photography and poetry by Misha.)

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. For Episode 3 click here . Enjoy!) [Pssst… Apologies for such a delay in the post. Exams are around the corner, scavenging on my brain.] Episode 4 Bahadur walks into his home like a zombie. He stands there at the door, watching his mother and sisters. No one notices that he has returned. “Bahadur! When did you arrive?” Amma asks. Bahadur just stares at her as if he’s gone deaf. His mouth is slightly open. His face shows no emotion. “Bahadur…?” “Uh… Yes… Yes I just came. Where’s Abba?” “He hasn’t come back yet. He’ll be late.” Amma goes towards the stove and stir’s the pot. A gush of steam makes eerie faces in the air. Bahadur sits on the charpoy and Baji brings him a glass of water. She sits beside him while he drinks. “What happened?” She whispers. “Nothing happened.” He whispers back. “Don’t lie to me! You look like you’ve seen a ghost. D...

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. For Episode 2 click here . Enjoy!) Episode 3 It’s the wedding day. Maheen is sitting in her room, in her gorgeous rust colored lainga . The top has no back only straps, which bind it together. She is arranging her hair. When she is done, she stands up, examines herself one more time in the full length mirror. She is more than satisfied with the reflection. She strolls towards Eemaan’s room, knocks on the door and enters. Eemaan is sitting on her bed. Maheen sucks her breath in at the sight of her. She is adorned in a traditional blood red sharara . Precious stones are embroidered on her dress in intricate flowery patterns. “You look absolutely beautiful.” Says, a gawking, Maheen. “Are you sure I look ok? Because I think the man who did my make up over did my eyes. And I don’t think my lipsticks color matches my dress. And the dress, do you ...

Click on the image to enlarge and to read the poetry.

(This is a lengthy story based on actual facts. Episodes will be posted over a span of a few weeks. There are going to be NINE episodes in total. Enjoy!) Episode – 1 A dark haired, tall woman with exquisite features and a flawless complexion walks in a queue to board her plane. She looks impatiently at an old man in front of her moving inch by inch. “Damn these wrinkled creatures!” She mutters under her breath. Finally her turn comes and she hands over her boarding pass to a man. She over takes the old man, her heels clicking as she treads quickly in the tunnel towards the airplane.   She gracefully sits in her spacious passenger seat in the First Class cabin and notices a little boy sitting next to her. “Great! First the old buffoon and now this boy will make my flight miserable.” She thinks irritatingly. Maheen is 25, with apparently no interest in children or old men. The plane taxis and takes off. The seatbelt sign is still lit. It feels to her as if somebody is ja...

Turmoil and confusion Is in my heart, in my soul, Is this all an illusion? My fantasies gaping hole? Oh how I’m torn apart With the guilt that is within me How long will we last Against my deceiving heart’s decree!? This is not me but the devil Who lures me to lust, My heart longs a sin, a betrayal Of their forgotten trust. Half a decade gone and lost, Words spoken but not said, Lies, deceit, deception And false love declared. (P.S: A poem that i wrote waaay back!)

Freeze. A second, a moment, A memory, a glimpse. An experience, exquisite, A feeling, undefined. Ecstasy to the fullest, An almost nirvana. Freeze it wont you? A moment in time, Before abandoned, forgotten. Its but only desired, For a lifetime.

Words betray me Abandoning in the time Of their need Thoughts escape Unfaithful thoughts, evaporate I panic Memories, sweet memories Please come rushing back I need to recall I have to narrate Emotional blackmail Whatever it takes I can beg I can plead Just don't walk away From us From me Give me a minute A minute in exchange of years For I have to search Words, thoughts and memories I grope I grab But they slip Evading my lips I am trying Wait Listen Today cursed, I am Tongue tied, I hear His rationalizations His justifications Babbling Mumbling And then foot steps Foot steps-The last sound of his To echo And it will Forever In moments of my unforgivable silence